Ciao, everybody! I hope you had a great week. Mine, as always, was a busy one.
In honor of the Royal Wedding, I chose a quote from Meghan Markle.
Even though we’re in different industries (I’m a writer and she’s an actress — well, probably not even that anymore), the quote applies. For that matter, I think it applies to all of us.
I know I have a tendency to let things get to me. The funny thing is, I’m willing to bet the majority of things I take personally aren’t intentional slights at all. I have a tender heart, always have. And I wouldn’t change that if I could. I think empathy is important. But I know sometimes I waste time worrying about something that I shouldn’t. If I’m not going to devote years to something, I shouldn’t give it any time at all.
This isn’t just good advice for negative things. Consider your career. Are you willing to pour your heart and soul into your fiction for the next five years (and more)? If not, maybe you haven’t found your bliss yet. Dabble if it interests you, but your time might be better spent pursuing your true calling.
Me? I’m in this for the long haul, so I’ll give my work five minutes, five years, five lifetimes if I have them. But I need to do better about dwelling on the negative.
What about you? Do you take criticism too personally? Are you at or past your five-year mark? Are you going to watch the wedding? (I’m not, but I’m looking forward to seeing a picture of her gown.) Let’s chat below.
And now, this week’s links:
Posts by me, about my work, or at sites I contribute to:
- Communication Overseas | Story Empire
- Dead Ends and Pantsers | Romance University
- C. S. Boyack’s Yak Guy and the Empress | Staci Troilo
- Creativity Blocks and Solutions | Story Empire
- Advice for Authors Making a Pitch | Romance University
- Question: How Many Abandoned Works Do You Have? | Story Empire
- Epilogues | Romance University
Posts by others in the industry:
- Keeping Continuity in Prequels | Legends of Windemere
- Exploring Emotions in Characters | Fiction University
- GDPR: What Authors Need to Know | Nicholas C. Rossis
- Blurb Writing | Alison Williams
- Twitter Tips for Authors | D. E. Haggerty
- Indie Publishing Links | Don Massenzio
- Writing in Multiple POVs | The Write Practice
- Sidekicks | Well-Storied
- GDPR for Authors | The Write Conversation
- Rewriting and Refining | Nikki Moore
- A Writer’s Guide to Shotguns | Nicholas C. Rossis
- Improving Your Amazon Author Page | Author Marketing Experts
- Writing YA | The Write Practice
- Case Study of Publishing Options | Your First 10K Readers
I didn’t watch the wedding, I had no interest. I also worry very little about what others think or say about me. I used to, but I have learned if I can’t control it, let it go. I must say, I’m happier.
And you, I’m in it for the long hall.
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I go back and forth. Sometimes I worry a lot, other times, not at all. Maybe it depends on the person?
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Thanks so much for sharing the link to my post 🙂
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Always happy to share great content!
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Reblogged this on Kim's Author Support Blog.
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Thanks for sharing, Kim!
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I take things too heart entirely too much. I have developed a tougher shell when it comes to my work as a writer–maybe because I’ve passed the five year mark–but personal criticism can eat away at me. As for empathy, sometimes I can be so overwhelmed by that I have to mentally force myself to switch it off (maybe why I chose to write about an empath in book 2 of Hode’s Hill).
I’m not planning on watching the wedding, but I do hope to catch a few highlights. I’m sure news and photos will be everywhere!
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I think I’m getting better at it, too. At least, I try to look that way. I’m pretty sure I had a minor meltdown the first time I read a negative review (and it wasn’t even that bad). Now, I still take it to heart (even when I shouldn’t) but I try to be more stoic about it. Maybe by the time I retire, I’ll be over the negative comments. 😉
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As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned not to dwell on criticism as long. As you said, determine if it’s constructive or mean-spirited, then act accordingly. As for the wedding, I’ll probably just watch some highlights. Have a great weekend, Staci!
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That’s a very healthy attitude, Teri. It takes far too many of us far too long to get there.
Happy weekend to you, too!
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I let things get to me. After this long, I kind of expected to be in a different position as an author. Still, I keep banging on the keyboard because I love it. I look at the Royal wedding like plants and payoffs. The press is making a plant in the mind of the world. It’s all sparkly, unicorns, and rainbows. This is so we have a perspective when the press rips them to shreds later on.
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Now, that’s a different take on things. And sadly, probably accurate.
And I know how you feel, Craig. I thought I’d be ahead of where I am by now, too.
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At my age, five minutes is a long time, you know, so five YEARS is more than I want to contemplate. 😯 Looking too far ahead might scare me. 😀 So, mostly, I live (and write) in the moment because even for those much younger than I, it’s all we really have. I know that’s not what you meant by being willing to commit at least five years to our endeavors, but that’s the first thing that came to my mind.
If I had my way, I’d write all day long, every day of the week for as long as I’m able, so I can cram as much pure writing joy into the next few years as possible, no matter what lies ahead. Yeah. Talk about bliss! 😀
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Ah, that does sound like bliss, Marcia.
And I’m counting on you to be around and writing for many more years!
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Thanks, Staci! I aim to keep on writing until I fall face down on the keyboard, or forget what words are, whichever comes first. 😀 😀 😀
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Well, I hope neither happens for a long time. 🙂
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Reblogged this on DSM Publications and commented:
Check out this post from Staci Troilo’s blog with author inspiration and helpful writing links.
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Thanks for the reblog, Don.
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My pleasure.
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Oh god do I take things too much to heart. Criticism cuts me to the very core. Maybe that’s the main reason I’ve spent over a year writing my debut novel? How do you deal with criticism professionally Staci? As for whether this is my true calling, difficult question. By day I am the manager of a Retirement Village and look after 150+ elderly folk. I’m their carer, counsellor, confidant, caretaker, friend and family. It’s hard not to feel totally wrapped up in that when I do it (24/7 on call). However, in my heart it’s definitely writing that sings to me, writing that nurtures my soul. I think writing is my dream but my reality is what it is.
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You have your hands full, that’s for sure. But it’s such important work, even if it isn’t your bliss.
As for dealing with criticism? It is hard. Personally, I read or listen to the comment and assess it. Is it constructive and potentially useful or is it vague, irrelevant, or mean-spirited? If the former, I set it aside for a bit until the sting goes away, then I work on it. Honestly, through the years, the “sting” has dulled considerably. But if it’s the latter? That sting still hurts. I allow myself a few minutes to be upset, and sometimes I’ll even vent to people I trust. I know it goes without saying, but NEVER reply to such a comment publically. Then try to put the comment out of mind. You’ll drive yourself crazy, otherwise.
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Thanks for including my post in your links.
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Glad to do it!
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I once read that brain scans had demonstrated that we take negative feedback 10 times more seriously than positive one. It seems to be hardwired in our brains, presumably because it’s been more crucial for our survival!
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That’s fascinating. The human body is really remarkable. So elegantly designed, and operating so efficiently, even on such an intricate level. I had never heard that, but it makes sense. Thanks for sharing.
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Reblogged this on Nicholas C. Rossis and commented:
Staci’s writing links!
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Thanks for the share!
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I am too soft-hearted for my own good much of the time. Sadly, I’ve had to learn to toughen up some … which says a lot about the world in which we live. Yep, criticism can be tough, and like you, it can stay with me way too long afterward. Have a great weekend, and no … I shall not be watching the wedding … I’ll be glad when the UK news finds something else to go on about, lols 🙂
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Having read your book JEWEL IN THE MUD: ZEN MUSINGS, I’d have thought you had a good handle on things. I’m sorry it’s still a work in progress for you, but it’s reassuring to know I’m not alone.
The wedding is big news here, too. (Not really sure why.) I’m sure you have it much worse, though. It will be nice when things settle down again. (I still want to see the gown, though.)
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Staci, it can be hard with criticism but well constructed and said to one personally is okay with me … I’m happy to discuss. Interesting quote and I think marrying into the monarchy one has to be in for the long haul! Committing to anything most tend to give their all, I’d hope! Happy Weekend … and no I won’t be watching the wedding although I’ll pop by the news!
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I’m with you on “constructive” criticism. That’s always worth careful consideration.
I also agree about marrying into the monarchy. Any marriage, really. When I said “I do” to my husband, I’d have done anything for him. Still would. But stepping into a world like that is quite an adjustment. Wishing the happy couple a long, happy marriage.
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Marrying into the monarchy sounds like hard work to me! I’m not planning to watch the wedding, though I do wish them well. I watched Charles and Diana’s wedding, lo those many years ago, and that didn’t turn out so well. 😦 I’ll just check out the highlights of this one, after the fact, I think. 🙂
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I watched it, too. But I lived at home then, and my mom had it on.
Whether I see it or not, I wish them both well, too.
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